Wednesday, December 21, 2011

December 21st

Texts From Last Night

(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.

(517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favourite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

(617): were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

(908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

(913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

(416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening.

(304): I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

(650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you.

(203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
(718): pretty sure those are just snow plows... go back to bed

and a sheep:

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