Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

Looking in my junkmail collection today, I have a message from "Lint Lizard Suction". According to the subject line it will speed drying time and clean the dryer. I now have a lovely image in my head of lizards running up the walls of my dryer after every load with their little suction cup feet, happily sucking in and nibbling all the lint left behind. So cute!

trash as treasure.

Tamantha Mingledorf is following me on pintrest! I know not who she is, but her name is fabulous!

As I was sorting through my junk mail, I happened to click on Cute N HornyGirl's message to me (apparently she has horns - awesome). It is also fabulous. I quote:

"BABE. . . i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing. . . anyways how u been? In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana. . we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what. . . I got 2 things to tell u. . both good news. . 1)im single now. . yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago. . . and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U. . . lol. . . ur actually the only person im gonna know where. . well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol. . "

It's pages long! And it's consistently friendly and chatty. Whoever wrote it should write a novel. Great character development. She has a kitty named Boo. Amused me immensely.

Holy Spam, Batman!

Every once in a while I get the urge to check out what the spam filters have been guarding me from. Great Odin's Raven! It turns out they've been shielding me from awesomeness. And as we all know, there is no price for awesomeness. ...or attractiveness. Here are some of my favourite spam comments (not that I'd even know how to pronounce dkoney):

Great hammer of Thor, that is powerfully helpful!

Dag nabbit good stuff you whippersnappers!

You put the lime in the coconut and drink the article up.

Pin my tail and call me a dkoney, that really helped.

Well mcaadaima nuts, how about that.

Spam! Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

My new favorite spam heading is "Be her passionate lion."

It sounds so cute!