Gifts from the Earth

Today my boss and I gave each other a series of gifts that we found in the gardens.

She gave me a set of practice nunchucks, white pine pinecones, and a pencil.

I gave her a spoon.

I went home with my pinecones and nunchucks tucked into a coffee holder. I really liked it.

I also visited Rambo the Carrot Rustler who is enchantingly enchanted by christmas lights. He sits in his stroller and his tiny red mittens point at them as we pass by.

Inspired I put up my own christmas lights which glint like jube-jubes in their big round bushes.

WATS A Pon A TimE

I was sorting out some old papers and came across stuff I wrote in Montessori and early grade school. They made me very happy. 

My favourite spelling of a word is "chrejerhunt," it says "treasure hunt". Sound it out. It makes more sense than first glance.

Now sit back and let me read you some stories:

WATS A Pon A TimE THER WAR KIS THEAT WAR goWiE To A bRCdAY PRDEY

(Once upon a time there were kids that were going to a birthday party.)

(Please note the one eyed girl)

And THEn THEAE HAd SAm KAKE

(And then they had some cake.)

(Please note how the children merge seamlessly with their chairs :)

And THEn THEAE PLAUDE GAmSE

(And then they played games)

And THEn THEAE WET HOME HOM

(And then they went home. home!)

(Excellent perspectives in the paths, I think).

(The End.)

"hiu my name is Kuoos and how i got my Kron is wen i was rolling i had-a bap and thae is wer i hackt it I pat on it"

(Hi you! My name is Kuoos and how I got my crown is when I was rolling I... had a bump? heard a bap?.... and that is where I got it. I put it on.)

(who cares what it says?! Look at his feet!!)

              

MOM is WTiG FR EVR WN To CM DAWNSTRS

(Mom is waiting for everyone to come downstairs)

(Who needs vowels? :)

 THE KIDS HAV KM DASARS

(The kids have come downstairs)

 THE KiDs R PLAN THE DAD is AT WRK

(The kids are playing the dad is at work)

THE CiDS hAV LEFT THE ROOM

(The kids have left the room)

(The cids!)

(This page is quite deep)

 TO gET JREST AND

(To get dressed and...)

(Great use of suspense, also notice the small piggy child. She's so cute.)

 And goWi to A PDRE

(And going to a party)

(Please note the girl with the balloon coming straight out of the top of her head :)

 And ThEn THEA WET HAM And HAD LOAS OVA FUN

(And then they went home and had loads of fun)

(Wet ham! Fun with eggs!)

(The End)

I also wrote excellent book reports. They have depth and scope and insight. If they were the blurbs on the back of books, I would definitely read those books. (Sometimes Why, the second one is for you!)

Book report

Author: NO

tittle: the great lost treasure hunt

i like all of it

Book report

tittle: a bargain for Frances

Ather: russell Hoban

i like when frances get the china tee set

Book report

Author: barbara cork

tittle: tigers

i like the games

Book report

tittle: miss nelson is back

Ather: james marshall

i like the book bcus it is funny and happy and nothing sad

i didn't like nothing

Finally, a poem about dinosaurs:

Dinosaurs do not count,

Because they are all Dead:

But still they walk about heavily 

In everybody's head.

THE EnD.

December 25th

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

with lots of love, Sometimes Why and Emberella Cat.

December 24th

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!

christmas eve sheep:

December 13th

a sheep (extra soft):

December 11th

and a wee sheepie!

December 4th

overheard in various places around North America...

Why Are You Buying a Chocolate Jesus?

Cashier: Merry Christmas.
Customer: You, too.
Cashier: Wait! I gotta be politically correct -- Happy Holidays.
Customer: Yeah, I'm Jewish.
Cashier: Oh my god, me too!
Customer: Then why the fuck are we wishing each other a Merry Christmas?
Cashier: I have no fucking clue.

It's Branding – What Are Ya Gonna Do?

Hipster #1 walking past large inflatable snowman: Dude, I fucking hate Christmas. It's like, nothing but a giant celebration of modern consumer capitalism.


Hipster #2 gesturing to wreath on church door: Totally. Look, even the churches are advertising Christmas these days.

~Wegmans, Manalapan, New Jersey

Girl #1: Every time I watch Rudolph, it gives me stress.


Girl #2: That show is horrible!


Girl #1: See, those little reindeer, they didn't know any better, but Dancer was a grown-ass reindeer! He knew better than to treat Rudolph like that, tellin' his own kid not to play with Rudolph... That's some straight-up bullshit.


Guy: And why was Rudolph's nose red if both of his parents' noses were black?


Girl #2: 'Cause his mom was a ho.


Girl #1: Y'know, Dancer was probably his mom's punk-ass baby-daddy. And you know what? Even Santa didn't know how to act. If I was Rudolph, I would tell Santa, 'Oh, hell no!'


Girl #2: Oh, hell no!


Girl #1: 'Santa better get his fat ass up there and guide his own shit, after he be treatin' me like that! Oh, hell no!'

Ordinarily I'd Add My Own Cheer

Barista: Soy latte coming up.


Monotone man: Will you make it with holiday cheer?


Barista: Uh... Okay, sure.


Monotone man: I'm a little tired today.



--Starbucks, 114th & Broadway

Is This Quote Culinary Erotica? Discuss.

Girl #1: I don't know if I want cookie dough, I'd rather make cookies.


Girl #2: Oh, man. It's totally carnal, the things I wanna do to that cookie dough. I want it on my face.


(five minutes later) 
Girl #1: Okay, I want some cookie dough.


Girl #2: I thought you didn't want any!


Girl #1: You gave such a rave review of the cookie dough on your face that I entertained the possibility that I, too, might want it on my face.

–Boston, Massachusetts

and a sheep:

tinsel and lights

Last night as we lay on the couch replete from a meal of indian food, Rafiki mused that he was thinking about putting up his christmas tree this year, which he hasn't done in about 10 years.
"Would you like to do that tonight?" I asked, nuzzling the nape of his neck with my nose.
"That would be a good idea," he contemplated, "because I won't do it if you aren't here to help me decorate."
So we hauled it up for the basement. His brother looked deeply surprised and puzzled when we started pulling it out of the closet, and laughed in that "you're strange but in a kind of cute way" that I know so well. I've never put together a fake tree before. I kept saying things like, "okay, how do you put the tinsel on?" and "when do you stop putting tinsel on?"
We finished at midnight, and we well pleased with the effect of it glowing and tinseling in the corner of the living room.